The Motherhood Comparison Trap: Don’t Fall In

Motherhood comes in all shapes and sizes, and is defined differently from one family to the next. However, it has become increasingly easy to fall into a trap of comparison with other new moms. To make things worse, social media doesn’t help. It can be hard to escape the expectation to live up to an image that is ultimately not real.

Here are a few things to remember to help stay focused and avoid “falling in”:

• Identify the pressure. Acknowledge when comparison creeps in. Train your mind to recognize when you might be listening to that voice that says “you should be like her”.
• Talk it over.Talk to friends and family when needed.Sometimes it helps to vent or to just get a supportive reality check.
• Look for resources. Seek out credible and helpful information for child-rearing. Do research to acquire the facts, not just accept what others have to say from their own experience.
• Trust your instincts. Every child is different and the best parent to a child is usually the mom. Ask for help when needed, but rely on your own experience for the most important decisions.

It is to be expected that at times, being a new mom, that comparison may creep in. However, it is important to recognize the feeling and to reach out if necessary. Tune out what doesn’t help, and tune in to what will – your own experience. This can help you make the best decisions for you and your baby.